From California Wildfires to Utah's Pro-Life Movement: Merrilee Boyack's Journey
Merrilee Boyack details her transition from California politics to Utah activism, illustrating how individual agency and "doing" can transform communities and save lives.
Merrilee Boyack
Background in Service and Politics
At a Glance
Archive Scoring
Introduction
Merrilee Boyack’s narrative is defined by a refusal to remain a bystander. Her journey from the Detroit suburbs to the legislative halls of Southern California, and finally to the heart of Lehi, Utah, reveals a persistent thread of "fixing" what is broken. Whether organizing evacuation centers during devastating wildfires or unifying disparate pro-family groups across Utah, Boyack views leadership as a form of maternal stewardship—often difficult and thankless, yet essential for the safety and growth of the "family" that is the community. Her transition to Utah marked a shift from municipal governance to deep-rooted advocacy. While she initially sought a quieter life, a sense of divine mandate pulled her back into the public sphere. This period saw the birth of the Empowered Families Coalition and her leadership within Pro-Life Utah. In these roles, Boyack moved beyond policy to direct human intervention, focusing on the "wrap-around" services—diapers, mentorship, and financial grants—that bridge the gap between abstract ideology and the lived reality of vulnerable women. Central to Boyack’s legacy is her influence as an author and educator. Her seminal work, The Parenting Breakthrough, stems from a belief that the home is the primary laboratory for independence. By teaching children life skills and financial literacy, she argues that parents fulfill their most critical role: preparing the next generation to navigate the world without them. This philosophy of self-reliance mirrors her approach to community work, where she strives to build systems that empower individuals rather than merely offering temporary fixes. The human cost of advocacy is not lost in her story. She speaks candidly about the emotional weight of public office—where half the people hate you on any given day—and the personal trials that shaped her voice. Her battle with breast cancer became the crucible for her book In Trying Times, Just Keep Trying, a work that ultimately saved a reader from the brink of suicide. This intersection of personal pain and public service highlights her belief that individual influence is a sacred privilege. Boyack’s reflections on Lehi itself suggest a community at a crossroads, balancing its old cowboy roots with a burgeoning tech-driven future. She finds a unique responsiveness in Utah’s political landscape, where one person can make a significant difference. Her life serves as a blueprint for the "salt of the earth"—individuals who extend their influence beyond their inner circles to season and preserve the world around them.
Episode Overview
A detailed look at the topics, people, and context of this conversation.
Merrilee Boyack joins the podcast to discuss her multifaceted career as a public servant, attorney, and activist. Having served on the city council in Poway, California, she shares how the trauma of local wildfires prompted her to enter politics to ensure better community preparedness. Her move to Lehi, Utah, twelve years ago did not end her public life; instead, it refocused her efforts toward the pro-life movement and family advocacy. The conversation delves into Boyack’s leadership of the Empowered Families Coalition and Pro-Life Utah. She describes the tangible impact of their mobile ultrasound unit and the comprehensive support system—ranging from baby showers to life grants—provided to women in crisis. Boyack emphasizes the "heart-turning" aspect of her work, noting that 92% of women who visit their mobile clinic choose life when they are presented with real support and options beyond abortion. The episode also explores Boyack's success as a Deseret Book author and long-time BYU Education Week speaker. She recounts her bold entry into the publishing world and the enduring popularity of her parenting and marriage books. Through her stories, she illustrates a life lived with a willing heart, urging others to find their own unique way to contribute to the community, whether through organizing thousands or crocheting a single baby blanket.
Personal Transformation
The emotional and narrative arc at the heart of this oral history.
Merrilee Boyack’s narrative arc is defined by a consistent 'fixer' mentality that evolved from reactive volunteering to proactive systemic leadership. Her journey began in Detroit, but the critical turning point occurred in Poway, California, where her dissatisfaction with the local government's response to devastating wildfires compelled her to move from an evacuation center volunteer to a city council member. This shift represented a realization that meaningful change requires stepping into the arena of power, transitioning from someone who simply 'does the work' to someone who 'builds the system.'
Her move to Lehi twelve years ago initiated a second transformation. After a long career in law and politics, she initially sought a quieter life of humanitarian work, yet she experienced a spiritual nudge to re-engage with local advocacy. This led her to shift her focus from municipal governance to the broader cultural and legislative landscape of Utah. She transformed from a California politician into a Utah coalition builder, learning that her true strength lay in uniting disparate groups under a single banner, such as the Empowered Families Coalition.
Throughout this process, Merrilee underwent a significant emotional maturation regarding the nature of public service. By internalizing the lesson that 'half the people hate you' in public office, she developed a resilient, centered identity that no longer sought universal approval. This shift allowed her to focus on education and transparency rather than conflict. She transitioned from a leader who manages crises to a mentor who empowers others, particularly in her role as a mother and grandmother applying her own parenting principles.
Finally, her transformation was cemented by her integration of personal suffering—such as her battle with breast cancer—into her professional message. By authoring 'In Trying Times,' she shifted from being a source of organizational strength to a source of individual hope. She became a woman who views her influence not as an achievement of her resume, but as a sacred 'privilege' to be used for the preservation of life and the strengthening of the human spirit.
Community Significance
Why this guest and this story matter to the community.
Merrilee Boyack is a central figure in the modern civic fabric of Lehi, representing the infusion of experienced, values-driven leadership into a rapidly growing community. Her presence has helped bridge the gap between Lehi's traditional conservative roots and the complex needs of its expanding population. By applying her 'fixer' skills locally, she has reinforced the community's expectation that one person can indeed impact state-level politics, fostering an environment of high civic engagement.
Her work with the Empowered Families Coalition and the Abortion Free Utah Coalition has fulfilled a critical community need for organizational unity. Before her intervention, many pro-family groups operated in silos; her leadership has fostered a culture of shared resources and information that makes Lehi a hub for state-wide advocacy. This collaborative model has strengthened local relationships between non-profits, churches, and legislative bodies, creating a more robust support network for families.
In terms of direct impact, the 'Life Grant' program and the material support systems she helped develop provide a tangible safety net for vulnerable women in the region. Without her efforts to organize these specific resources, dozens of local families would lack the mentorship and financial stability they currently enjoy. Her work ensures that the community's 'pro-life' values are backed by concrete action, transforming abstract beliefs into diapers, car seats, and medical care.
Furthermore, as a long-time speaker at BYU Education Week and a best-selling author, she has shaped the parenting philosophies of an entire generation within Lehi. Her 'Parenting Breakthrough' curriculum has provided a common language for local parents striving to raise independent, self-reliant children. Her legacy is thus woven into the character of the city's youth, who are being raised according to the principles of autonomy and responsibility she has championed for decades.
"The community that we were in named Poway is very similar to Lehi... kind of has the old cowboy roots and you know the tech parks and so it's very very similar."
— Merrilee Boyack · 1:38
Key Themes & Life Lessons
The ideas that run beneath the stories — and what they teach about community, leadership, and belonging.
Community Service and Civic Leadership
Pro-Life Advocacy and Support Systems
Emergency Preparedness and Disaster Response
Parenting and Developing Independence in Children
Faith-Based Action and LDS Perspectives
Resilience through Personal Adversity
The Power of Individual Influence in Politics
Authorship and Public Speaking
Wisdom & Life Lessons
One of the most profound pieces of wisdom extracted is the 'Act As If' principle: that internal change often follows external action. Merrilee’s life shows that one does not need to feel courageous or ready to act; they must simply act as if they are, and the feelings of capability will follow. This is a vital tool for anyone facing adversity or significant life transitions.
Another core wisdom is the concept of 'following your heart vs. following someone else’s path.' Merrilee’s contrast between her macro-organizing and her sister’s one-on-one ministry highlights the importance of self-awareness. Wisdom lies in recognizing your unique strengths—whether they be 'crocheting blankets' or 'organizing thousands'—and serving within that capacity without the burden of comparative guilt.
Finally, the wisdom of 'making the world a better place than you found it' serves as a simplified moral compass. Merrilee illustrates that this can be as simple as carrying a garbage bag on a walk or as complex as changing state law. The wisdom is in the consistency of the effort, not necessarily the scale. It is the practice of leaving every space, person, and community better for your presence.
Key Takeaways
- 1One person can make a significant difference in a community, particularly in the responsive political climate of Utah.
- 2Effective emergency preparedness requires training every employee and establishing robust communication channels across agencies.
- 3The success of the pro-life movement in Utah is largely due to a collaborative, 'no turf wars' approach among 30+ organizations.
- 4Pro-life advocacy is most effective when it addresses the root fears of women through holistic support, mentors, and financial grants.
- 5Parenting should focus on training children for independence by teaching life skills and financial literacy early in the home.
- 6Adversity and personal 'trials' can be transformed into a platform for teaching and helping others through their own struggles.
- 7Leadership often involves making tough calls where 'half the people hate you,' requiring a leader to stay centered on core values.
Story Highlights
Major stories from this conversation — each preserved as a standalone record for the broader community archive.
While living in Poway, California, Merrilee experienced two major wildfires. Frustrated by the total lack of response from the city council during the first disaster, she volunteered to run the evacuation center and fire relief. This experience compelled her to run for office herself. Over eight years on the city council, she revolutionized community preparedness by training every city employee as a disaster service worker, placing supply 'sea-tainers' throughout the city, and establishing cross-agency communication. When the second wildfire hit, the community was radically better prepared, moving from chaos to structured safety.
Emotional Significance
This story captures the shift from frustration and helplessness to empowerment and protection of one's neighbors.
Why This Matters
It demonstrates that local government is most effective when driven by those who have been on the front lines of community crises.
Life Lesson
If you see a void in leadership or a problem not being addressed, you have the capacity and responsibility to step in and fix it yourself.
Transformation
Merrilee transformed from a concerned volunteer into a decisive civic leader who fundamentally altered a city's safety infrastructure.
What It Reveals About Merrilee Boyack
She is a problem-solver who refuses to accept incompetence and is willing to dedicate years of service to ensure others don't suffer.
What It Reveals About the Community
Lehi attracts people with a high degree of 'engagement and investment' who believe they can make a difference.
Community Value Preserved
The value of civic duty and the importance of infrastructure as an act of love for one's neighbors.
For future generations: It serves as a blueprint for how one individual can shift a community's culture from reactive to proactive in the face of natural disasters.
Merrilee describes the tactical operations of Pro-life Utah, specifically their use of a medical sprinter van parked directly in front of abortion clinics. By offering free ultrasounds and pregnancy tests to women walking toward the clinic, they provide an immediate alternative. Merrilee notes that 92% of the women they serve change their minds once they see the ultrasound and realize a network of mentors and financial support exists. In the last year alone, this specific initiative saved 141 babies, providing a tangible metric of success through life rather than just policy.
After years of being told her speaking material should be a book, Merrilee took a bold approach to publishing. Dissatisfied with a 'horrible contract' from one publisher, she cold-called Deseret Book and left a message stating she was speaking at Education Week and they 'better call her' within 24 hours or she would sign with their competitor. This unconventional 'ultimatum' worked; they called her back, she pitched four books on the spot, and 'The Parenting Breakthrough' became their all-time best-selling parenting book, remaining in print for over 20 years.
Merrilee shares a letter she received about her book 'In Trying Times,' which she wrote while undergoing breast cancer treatment. A woman who was struggling with a divorce and suicidal ideation dropped her children off at the airport and planned to end her life. She stopped at a mall bookstore, saw Merrilee's book—which features a woman pushing a boulder—and decided to read it before following through with her plan. Reading the book gave her the hope and perspective needed to realize she could handle her trials, ultimately saving her life.
As a young, desperately homesick student from Detroit at BYU, Merrilee snuck into an Education Week lecture by Don Black. In just ten minutes, she heard him teach the 'Act As If' principle. This simple concept—acting as if you are the person you want to be until you become them—instantly cured her homesickness and changed her outlook on life for the next 50 years. Decades later, she tracked down the 90-year-old teacher to thank him for that ten-minute intervention.
During a presentation on pro-life work, an elderly woman approached Merrilee feeling she couldn't do the 'big' things like political organizing or standing on street corners. She told Merrilee, 'I like to make quilts.' Merrilee encouraged her to do exactly that. Within weeks, the woman began providing beautiful, handmade quilts for the baby showers held for the saved babies, finding her own unique and meaningful way to participate in the cause.
"Training children to be independent is a very important part of parenting... I'd rather have them experience things in the home because the consequences aren't so dire."
— Merrilee Boyack · 21:14
Historical Preservation & Legacy
What this interview preserves about community history, cultural legacy, and intergenerational knowledge.
Preservation Value: High
This episode preserves an exceptional depth of knowledge regarding civic leadership, social advocacy, and local parenting philosophies. It captures the specific historical transition of conservative leadership from California to Utah and provides a granular look at the mechanics of coalition building. The interview also documents unique pedagogical approaches to child-rearing and disaster preparedness that are central to the cultural identity of Lehi.
Why This Episode Matters Historically
This episode is historically significant because it documents the 'Great Migration' of conservative leadership from California to Utah in the early 21st century. Merrilee's story provides a primary-source account of why people chose Lehi—specifically citing its responsiveness and similarity to the 'cowboy roots' of areas like Poway—and how these newcomers immediately set to work reinforcing the local cultural identity. It serves as a record of the specific demographic and political shifts that transformed Lehi from a small town into a significant center of influence. Additionally, the interview preserves the operational history of the pro-life movement during a period of intense national and local debate. The detailed descriptions of the mobile ultrasound sprinter van, the 'Life Grant' mechanics, and the coalition-building strategies offer future historians a granular look at grassroots social activism in the 2020s. This record captures the shift from purely legislative goals to a holistic, service-based model of advocacy that defines the current era of social conservatism in Utah.
What Future Generations May Learn
Future generations of Lehi residents will learn that the strength of their community was built on the 'willing hearts' of individuals who refused to be 'hearers only.' Merrilee’s account of the California wildfires serves as a timeless lesson in civic responsibility: that institutional failure is often a call for personal leadership. They will see that a well-prepared community—one with 'sea tainers' and trained disaster workers—is the result of dedicated residents who take it upon themselves to imagine and mitigate future crises. Historians fifty years from now will also find a blueprint for effective coalition building. Merrilee’s success in uniting thirty different organizations without 'turf wars' provides a model for how to achieve large-scale social goals through cooperation rather than competition. This lesson in strategic unity will be invaluable for future leaders facing their own era's challenges. They will learn that progress is most sustainable when it is inclusive and resource-oriented. Lastly, the episode offers a profound insight into the 'Salt of the Earth' philosophy. Future residents will be reminded that their influence should extend beyond their 'tight little inner circle.' Merrilee’s life demonstrates that whether it is through crocheting a blanket or chairing a global organization, the act of 'making the world a better place than you found it' is the highest form of community participation. They will learn that a life of service is not just about the tasks performed, but about the legacy of goodness left behind.
Community Memory Preserved
This archive preserves the memory of the specific similarities between Poway, California, and Lehi, Utah, during the early 2000s—capturing a moment when both communities shared a transition from rural 'cowboy roots' to high-tech hubs. It protects the story of how a single dissatisfied citizen could change the disaster preparedness of a city, a memory that reinforces the efficacy of local government. This narrative prevents the loss of the 'why' behind the infrastructure of safety and preparedness that residents might later take for granted. It also preserves the early history of the 'Abortion Free Utah' and 'Latter-day Saints for Life' movements. By documenting the 92% 'change of heart' rate and the specific mentorship stories—such as a volunteer driving five hours through a blizzard to save a woman from domestic violence—the archive keeps the human element of these movements alive. These stories ensure that the history of this advocacy is remembered not just through statistics, but through the lived experiences of the women and children involved. Finally, the archive protects the memory of the local 'Education Week' culture. Merrilee’s account of sneaking into a lecture by Don Black and having her life changed in ten minutes by the 'Act As If' principle captures the intellectual and spiritual atmosphere of the BYU campus during that era. This specific local tradition of lifelong learning and public lecturing is preserved as a cornerstone of the community's cultural development.
Local Knowledge Preserved
The episode preserves the 'training chart' methodology of parenting that became a hallmark of Lehi’s family culture in the early 2000s. This local knowledge includes the specific breakdown of life skills by age, aimed at fostering independence in children—a practice that reflects the community’s high value on self-reliance. It also documents the specific use of citizen committees in local government, preserving the idea that town halls and direct staff-resident engagement are the most effective ways to educate and lead a population. Additionally, it captures the 'mobile intervention' strategy of the pro-life movement in the region, specifically the deployment of medical sprinter vans near Planned Parenthood clinics. This tactical information, along with the details of the 'Life Grant' program (offering up to $3,000 for car repairs or rent), provides a historical record of how local charities stepped in to fill the gaps left by state and federal welfare systems during this period.
Intergenerational Lessons
The primary lesson for the next generation is the power of the 'willing heart.' Merrilee teaches that you don't need to be an expert to start; you just need to see a need and offer what you have, whether that is a legal degree or the ability to crochet a baby blanket. This lesson encourages children and future leaders to look for the 'lost puppies'—the people and problems that others have overlooked—and take responsibility for them. For future entrepreneurs and community builders, the episode emphasizes the importance of 'strategic preparation.' Merrilee’s focus on training every city employee as a disaster worker and placing supplies throughout the city teaches that leadership is about foresight. The lesson is clear: do not wait for the fire to plan the escape; build the infrastructure of safety while the skies are clear. There is also a vital lesson on the nature of criticism. By comparing public office to motherhood, Merrilee teaches future leaders that being hated by half the people is often a sign of progress, provided you are 'centered' in your values. This encourages resilience in the face of public opposition and reminds future generations that leadership is about making tough calls, not winning popularity contests. Finally, the episode teaches the 'Parenting Breakthrough' lesson of independence. It reminds future parents that their job is to train their children to be autonomous adults. By teaching life skills in the home rather than relying on schools or the state, parents give their children the tools to navigate the world with confidence and competence. This is an enduring lesson in the importance of the family as the primary unit of education.
Community & Cultural Insights
Lehi is revealed as a community that prizes 'responsiveness' from its elected officials, a characteristic that Merrilee identifies as a major draw for newcomers. This suggests a culture where the distance between the citizenry and the government is small, and where personal initiative is still the primary driver of civic change. The community's identity is rooted in this accessibility, making it a unique environment for 'fixers' and organizers.
The podcast highlights the deep-seated value of 'family' as the central pillar of Lehi’s culture. From the success of parenting books to the proliferation of pro-family coalitions, the community's energy is largely directed toward the protection and development of children. This cultural insight explains why Lehi has become a stronghold for pro-life and pro-family activism in Utah.
There is also a strong culture of 'volunteerism' that bypasses institutional bureaucracy. The story of the five-hour drive in a blizzard and the mobile ultrasound van reveals a community that prefers direct, hands-on intervention over passive support. This 'doer' culture is a defining trait of Lehi, where residents are expected to contribute their specific talents—be it sewing, speaking, or legislating—to the common good.
The transcript also touches on the religious-cultural influence of 'Education Week' on the local psyche. This event serves as a yearly 'intellectual reset' for many in the community, reinforcing a culture of lifelong learning and spiritual application. Merrilee's 28-year tenure as a speaker there highlights how local leaders also serve as educators and moral guides for the community.
Finally, the shift from rural 'cowboy' roots to a tech-driven economy is a background theme. However, the 'cowboy' spirit is still very much alive in the community’s sense of independence and self-reliance. Even as the city grows, the cultural insight remains that Lehi residents value their 'roots' while reaching out their 'branches' to fix the modern problems of the world.
Historical Context
The narrative spans from Merrilee Boyack's upbringing in Detroit to her 32-year tenure in Poway, California, and her subsequent 12 years in Lehi, Utah. It highlights a specific period in California history characterized by devastating wildfires that necessitated a shift in municipal emergency management. Boyack's move to Lehi occurred during a period of rapid growth in Northern Utah, where she observed a parallel between the 'cowboy roots' of Poway and the evolving tech and family culture of Lehi. Furthermore, the interview documents the evolution of the pro-life movement in Utah over the last decade, transitioning from strictly political lobbying to service-oriented models. It also captures the peak influence of LDS-centric self-help literature through Deseret Book and BYU Education Week during the early 2000s, exemplified by the enduring popularity of 'The Parenting Breakthrough.'
Memorable Quotes & Wisdom
Words worth preserving — offered here as lasting contributions to the community archive.
"The community that we were in named Poway is very similar to Lehi... kind of has the old cowboy roots and you know the tech parks and so it's very very similar."
— Merrilee Boyack
1:38
Directly links the guest's past experience to the current cultural identity of Lehi.
This establishes the historical parallel between Western communities undergoing rapid technological transformation while trying to preserve agricultural heritage.
"I was very unhappy with the response of the city council which was zip... so I ran for office then and served for about eight years."
— Merrilee Boyack
2:25
Encourages local residents to take an active role in municipal governance when they see gaps in service.
Illustrates the catalyst for civic engagement: the transition from a private citizen observing a failure to a public servant taking responsibility.
"The number one insight you get when you're serving in public office is it's a lot like being a mother—on any given day, half the people hate you."
— Merrilee Boyack
3:52
Humanizes the role of local officials for the Lehi community.
A humorous but profound observation on the resilience required for leadership and the reality of public service in a divided society.
"Back in California as a conservative, no way, but here I have seen over and over and over again one person make a big difference."
— Merrilee Boyack
4:56
Affirms the power of the individual within the Utah and Lehi political landscape.
Highlights the unique political and social efficacy found in Utah's smaller, more accessible government structures.
"When you get those pictures of those babies who are alive because of what you've done, that is a game changer. That has been really a marvelous, marvelous real difference."
— Merrilee Boyack
8:45
Reflects the strong pro-life values prevalent in the Lehi and broader Utah community.
Speaks to the tangible, human impact of advocacy work beyond policy and rhetoric.
"Training children to be independent is a very important part of parenting... I'd rather have them experience things in the home because the consequences aren't so dire."
— Merrilee Boyack
21:14
Resonates with the family-centric demographic of Lehi seeking practical parenting advice.
A core philosophy of the guest's bestselling work, emphasizing the home as a laboratory for life skills.
"Everybody says, 'How do you decide what to write?' and I go, 'Well, I mess up and then I learn and then I apply it and then I teach it.'"
— Merrilee Boyack
23:13
Offers a relatable model for personal growth to community members.
Reveals the guest's approach to wisdom: it is not innate but hard-won through trial, error, and humility.
"We have no idea how many people we influence... I've had my life changed by people that have just said things... 10 minutes changed my life."
— Merrilee Boyack
25:23
Encourages kind and intentional interactions among neighbors in a growing city.
An oral history staple: the idea that small, seemingly insignificant moments of connection can alter a life's trajectory for decades.
"Follow your strengths and your abilities, and don't do what I do, you do what you do. And don't feel guilty that you're not doing what I'm doing."
— Merrilee Boyack
28:15
Validates the diverse ways Lehi residents contribute to their community, whether through large organizations or quiet individual acts.
A call for individualized service rather than comparison-based activism.
"The Savior says, 'You're the salt of the earth.' He didn't say, 'You're the salt of the family,' or even your church. He said, 'You're the salt of the earth.'"
— Merrilee Boyack
28:41
Challenges the community to look outward and serve the broader public good.
Uses a scriptural mandate to push for broader community engagement beyond the 'inner circle.'
"Make the world a better place than you found it. That can be done in really tiny, easy ways if we think about it and then have a willing heart."
— Merrilee Boyack
29:50
A universal call to action for all residents of Lehi, regardless of their background.
A summation of the guest's life philosophy and a legacy statement for future generations.
Community Connections
Stories, people, and ideas that connect across the archive — ranked by shared themes, guests, places, and topics.
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Related Themes
(4)Civic Leadership
Profiles of the people who shaped local government, planning, and policy in Lehi — and what their stories reveal about what good leadership actually looks like at the community level.
Family Legacy
The stories of families who planted roots in Lehi across generations — the ones who built the traditions, the parks, the businesses, and the sense of belonging that others now enjoy.
Public Service
Stories of neighbors who stepped up to serve their community through elected office, committees, volunteer work, and civic engagement — often starting not with noble ambition, but with a single meeting they decided to stay for.
Community Resilience
How Lehi residents have navigated challenge, change, growth, and hardship — and emerged with optimism, connection, and a deeper appreciation for what they've built together.
Ways to Serve
(4)Volunteer with Pro-Life Utah
Pro-Life Utah
Volunteer with Alpine School District
Alpine School District
Mentor through the Miss Lehi Pageant
Miss Lehi Pageant
Volunteer for the Lehi Arts Council
Lehi Arts Council
Explore More Stories & Themes
Related topics and community themes that connect this episode to the broader archive.
Community Service and Civic Leadership
Explore this theme in the archive →
Pro-Life Advocacy and Support Systems
Explore this theme in the archive →
Emergency Preparedness and Disaster Response
Explore this theme in the archive →
Parenting and Developing Independence in Children
Explore this theme in the archive →
Faith-Based Action and LDS Perspectives
Explore this theme in the archive →
Resilience through Personal Adversity
Explore this theme in the archive →
Connected People, Places & Stories
Employment
Merrilee Boyack serves as the Director of Development for this organization.
former residence and political base
Merrilee served on the city council there and developed her emergency management strategies after major wildfires.
Expertise
Merrilee is the author of 'The Parenting Breakthrough', focusing on training independent children.
Community Residency
The setting for the podcast and the current home of the guest.
publisher
Deseret Book published several of her best-selling books, including 'The Parenting Breakthrough'.
Professional Experience
Merrilee's political career in California was defined by wildfire response and municipal preparedness.
speaking venue
Merrilee was a regular speaker for 28 years, focusing on parenting, marriage, and overcoming fear.
Founder
Merrilee created this coalition to unite pro-family groups across Utah.
Advocacy
Merrilee emphasizes this as a critical duty for both citizens and local government in Lehi.
Professional Experience
The guest served as a speaker here for 28 years, shaping her public speaking and teaching style.
Mentor Influence
His 'act as if' principle was a transformative moment in the guest's early life at BYU.
Guiding Principle
Centralizes the guest's life philosophy regarding individual influence and the importance of a willing heart.
Suggested Future Guests & Topics
An interview with the volunteer mentors of the Pro-Life Utah program would provide a deeper look at the 'front-line' service mentioned by Merrilee, capturing the stories of the 141 babies saved in a single year. These mentors could offer a grassroots perspective on the challenges facing modern families in the Lehi area. Their stories would complement Merrilee's organizational perspective with individual narratives of sacrifice and support. It would be highly valuable to interview a local emergency management official to discuss the legacy of disaster preparedness in high-growth areas. Merrilee’s experience with California wildfires could be a springboard to discuss Lehi’s own vulnerabilities and the current state of its 'sea tainers' and citizen training programs. This would bridge the historical account of the 2000s with current safety protocols. Another opportunity lies in interviewing the leadership of the other 30 organizations within the Empowered Families Coalition. Documenting how these groups maintain unity without 'turf wars' would be a significant study in local institutional history. It would reveal the diverse range of family-focused services available in Utah and how they coordinate their efforts to maximize impact. Finally, an interview with a family who has utilized the 'Life Grant' or 'Mentorship' program would provide the ultimate proof of impact. Hearing from the 'Next Generation'—the children who are alive today because of these community efforts—would be a powerful closing chapter to the story Merrilee has started. This would capture the emotional and human results of the policies and coalitions she has spent her life building.
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Gig Griffith explores his journey from corporate accounting to the classroom, highlighting the enduring power of mentorship and service in Lehi schools.
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AI Retrieval Notes
This record provides a detailed look at the intersection of religious conviction and civic activism in the Mountain West. Researchers interested in the 'Utah Model' of pro-life advocacy will find valuable data on the collaborative efforts between 30+ organizations and the specific metrics of the 'ultrasound van' program. The interview also serves as a primary source for the history of LDS parenting culture in the early 21st century, specifically the movement toward raising 'independent' children. Key values extracted include individual agency, the sanctity of life, and the importance of community self-reliance. The guest, Merrilee Boyack, exemplifies the 'fixer' archetype—someone who enters public life to solve a specific institutional failure (fire response, support for pregnant women). The transcript highlights a transition in community engagement from the 1980s Detroit and 1990s California to modern Utah, noting the specific responsiveness of Lehi’s government as a unique community feature.
Full Transcript
Transcript source: AI-generated. This transcript has been lightly edited for readability.
Chapter 1: Introduction to Roots and Branches of Lehi 0:00 welcome to roots and branches of Lehi the podcast where we get to know the faces stories and lives that make up our community I'm Ryan Hardin and I started 0:08 8 seconds this podcast as a way for us all to connect with the people we live alongside growing up in a small town I learned that connections go beyond blood 0:15 15 seconds they're built through shared experiences friendships and the moments we celebrate together each week we'll sit down with someone new from Lehi to share their 0:24 24 seconds unique story their passions and what they love most about living here so whether you've been here for years or just arrived join us as we deepen Our 0:33 33 seconds Roots and reach out to our branches one story at a time welcome marily boyak to the to the podcast roots and branches of Chapter 2: Meet Merrilee Boyack: From Detroit to Lehi 0:40 40 seconds Lehi where we get to know uh you know people that live here and what they're doing and and you know the impact you're having on the world right oh well that's 0:49 49 seconds a whole bigger issue or at least at least at least the local area right um no but I'm excited I'm glad you were able to come on so so thank you and 0:57 57 seconds you're you know not native of high right so you you spent a lot of your time in California is that right yeah I grew up 1:04 1 minute, 4 seconds in Detroit in Detroit okay uhhuh and then when I got married we were in California for about 32 years and then we came here about 12 years ago now okay 1:13 1 minute, 13 seconds okay so so been you've been here a long time but you obviously have a background in a lot of different areas and stuff so okay and and in California you were Chapter 3: Community Involvement and Wildfire Response 1:22 1 minute, 22 seconds serving in state legislature and city council city council and stuff like that okay okay perfect so tell me about that tell me what uh how was you know how was 1:30 1 minute, 30 seconds it serving there especially you know probably you know little harder politics wise I guess right yeah you know yeah well luckily the community that we were 1:38 1 minute, 38 seconds in named Powe is very similar to Lehi very very similar okay kind of has the old cowboy roots and you know you know 1:46 1 minute, 46 seconds the tech parks and so it's very very similar so I was lucky to be in a very family oriented area that was a little 1:53 1 minute, 53 seconds more conservative you know so I was just very very involved in the community have been for for you know my entire adult 2:02 2 minutes, 2 seconds life and yeah what happened there was actually we had two major wildfires oh wow oh yeah major like the one you saw 2:09 2 minutes, 9 seconds in La yeah sure yeah recently and so in the first Wildfire I went over and ran the evacuation Center as a volunteer 2:17 2 minutes, 17 seconds okay and then did the fire relief for all the families that got burned out wow and I was very unhappy with the response 2:25 2 minutes, 25 seconds of the city council which was zip sure so I ran for office then and sered for about eight years there and through the 2:31 2 minutes, 31 seconds second Wildfire as well okay you know so yeah that was kind of the beginning that's and sometime you know when I've I've talked to other people that seems 2:40 2 minutes, 40 seconds to always be sometimes the case it's like hey I don't like the way things are going I want to fix this you know I feel like there's a need here and it's not being addressed and I can I very much so 2:48 2 minutes, 48 seconds and I'd been involved in community for you know a long time sure and was used to getting out there and working on stuff you know so anyway yeah it was it 2:56 2 minutes, 56 seconds was it was a good experience so you mentioned in the Wildfire so then I guess a logical question that you said you had one later on were were you guys 3:04 3 minutes, 4 seconds better prepared for it then did that go when I when I ran for office I ran based on preparing the community yeah and so 3:12 3 minutes, 12 seconds we trained every single employee as a disaster service worker we had sea tainers we posted throughout the city 3:19 3 minutes, 19 seconds with supplies we worked on developing Communications with all the other agencies so when the saier hit oh my 3:28 3 minutes, 28 seconds gosh yes night and day differ yeah it was amazing good way way way different way way better prepared well then hey 3:35 3 minutes, 35 seconds then you accomplished the goal right oh yeah you know during that time any other things during that time you know that you learn slash accomplished you know 3:45 3 minutes, 45 seconds give me some insights I guess from you know serving in and in in that capacity at city council the number one Insight you get when you're serving in public 3:52 3 minutes, 52 seconds office is it's a lot like being a mother on any given day half the people hate you okay so you sure you just 4:00 4 minutes you know you just have to stay really centered in what's important and not get swept up by all the other crazy going on and like I say my you know one of my big 4:09 4 minutes, 9 seconds things was preparedness and family those were kind of and Communications were kind of my big themes sure and you know 4:17 4 minutes, 17 seconds I've used those in a variety of of formats as well ever since but the thing I loved about that Community was it was 4:24 4 minutes, 24 seconds very dialed into the residents and I see that here which I like you know we've very specifically picked out Lehi and I 4:32 4 minutes, 32 seconds love the responsiveness of our elected officials I love the you know the helpfulness of everybody and and really wanting to build a good good community 4:41 4 minutes, 41 seconds and and I see a lot of Engagement you know a lot of Engagement a lot of investment and I find that one person can make a significant difference 4:48 4 minutes, 48 seconds interestingly you know when I came here I realized you could make that difference on a state level you know back in California as a conservative no 4:56 4 minutes, 56 seconds way but here I have seen over and over and over again one person make a big difference so I enjoy that ability to get good things 5:05 5 minutes, 5 seconds done sure I think that's uh yeah a big part of who I am I love it sure well we we like to be doers right you know doers 5:13 5 minutes, 13 seconds of the word not just hearers only right you know do things get things done and stuff and I'm a big fixer yes good good I love problem solving seeing things 5:22 5 minutes, 22 seconds improving oh yeah I love it well so so you know you mentioned having to be centered and stuff like that you know if somebody's looking to get into public 5:30 5 minutes, 30 seconds office and do that kind of stuff how do they balance you know because because my natural ability is if somebody tells me you know something is wrong or something 5:38 5 minutes, 38 seconds you know like I want to listen to them and you know like cuz I don't want to be totally closed off where it's like hey you don't know anything I know everything myself I mean that's not smart but at the same time recognizing I 5:47 5 minutes, 47 seconds guess that sometimes you do know more about the situation and and you do get people on opposite sides that may believe differently how do you balance 5:55 5 minutes, 55 seconds that in in those kind of leadership positions I guess you know that's you ENC kind that a lot like I say half the people hate you and and and usually it's 6:03 6 minutes, 3 seconds because they don't understand and they're not informed so I think that it's really important that that you spend the time to educate them you know 6:10 6 minutes, 10 seconds we had one of the things I did like about that Community better was we had a lot of citizens committees and I've tried to encourage our Council to do 6:18 6 minutes, 18 seconds that and expand what they have they haven't really done that but I think it's really important to educate the public to give like you know I held 6:26 6 minutes, 26 seconds regular Town Halls where the public could come and ask questions and get information from staff you know and I 6:33 6 minutes, 33 seconds think it's important for the staff to realize they help the people and you know and I find once you kind of go through that process and have a little 6:41 6 minutes, 41 seconds more engagement and a little more education a lot more people understand what's going on sometimes you just make the tough call though you know sometimes 6:50 6 minutes, 50 seconds you just have to do that sure sure come no that's good you've locally you're working on some pro-life stuff right oh Chapter 4: Pro-Life Advocacy and Empowered Families Coalition 6:58 6 minutes, 58 seconds yes so so tell me give me you know tell me what you're doing there I so when I moved here I was all excited thinking I could step away from politics sure sure 7:07 7 minutes, 7 seconds and I was doing a lot of humanitarian work with mothers Without Borders and I thought okay this is what I'm going to do and through some you know interesting 7:15 7 minutes, 15 seconds direction from above uh was told get back to work you know you need to do this so I created the empowered families Coalition for the state of Utah and 7:24 7 minutes, 24 seconds United all the pro- family groups we have 30 groups throughout the state of Utah and we all work together share resources 7:33 7 minutes, 33 seconds share information I mean during the legislative process we're constantly dialoguing with each other and with all of our members of all our organizations 7:42 7 minutes, 42 seconds and this is unusual not every state runs that way there's usually a lot of turf wars you know a lot of infighting but 7:49 7 minutes, 49 seconds not here it has been really marvelous so I started that about eight or nine years ago I'm it's my turn again so I'm 7:57 7 minutes, 57 seconds chairman of that organization right now and we do a lot of work throughout the state on promoting the family you know 8:04 8 minutes, 4 seconds protecting children just lots of great work with really marvelous organizations that some of which are National organizations and Global so that's 8:13 8 minutes, 13 seconds that's kind of a cool effort there then I started the abortion free Utah Coalition and this United the pro life 8:21 8 minutes, 21 seconds groups okay and I then was asked to serve with pro-life Utah okay so I'm currently the director of development 8:30 8 minutes, 30 seconds for pro-life Utah and I mostly do their fundraising and strategic development leadership development that kind of 8:37 8 minutes, 37 seconds thing true and you know working with with them you know I mean I've been involved in community work for decades 8:45 8 minutes, 45 seconds yeah but when you get those pictures of those babies who are alive because of what you've done that is a game Cher 8:51 8 minutes, 51 seconds that has been really a marvelous marvelous real difference oh my gosh yes I go to the baby showers and you think 8:59 8 minutes, 59 seconds this this baby wouldn't be alive if it weren't for what we're doing and and what I love about that pro-life model is 9:06 9 minutes, 6 seconds we invite the women we have a sprinter van we park right in front of planned parenthood's abortion clinic they kill over 4,000 babies a year so we park 9:14 9 minutes, 14 seconds right in front and invite women into have an free ultrasound and pregnancy test and when these are women literally walking in the door to get abortions 9:23 9 minutes, 23 seconds okay I mean that's when we're intervening and when they come into the van and we tell them what we offer them 92% changed their minds wow I mean 9:32 9 minutes, 32 seconds that's phenomenal is they just didn't know there was other options is that is that I mean go ahead yeah a big part is this the support that we offer we we 9:41 9 minutes, 41 seconds meet with them and we say now what led you here to consider this decision you know and what are you afraid of and you know what are you grappling with your 9:49 9 minutes, 49 seconds problems and issues and then we every woman is assigned two mentors that are available 247 and I mean these 9:58 9 minutes, 58 seconds volunteers you know one drove 5 hours in a blizzard to get her to her parents house to be safe from the boyfriend that was going to kill her I mean you 10:05 10 minutes, 5 seconds wouldn't believe what these volunteers do and they are available all the time to support them we offer a life Grant up to $3,000 to help with you know I've got 10:15 10 minutes, 15 seconds to fix my car so I go to work or I have to pay rent I'm about to be evicted or whatever medical whatever they need we 10:21 10 minutes, 21 seconds offer baby supplies for an entire year everything wow diapers wipes clothes toys books everything and we hold giant 10:29 10 minutes, 29 seconds baby showers they're super fun they're so cool and so we give them all of that so they have you know a pack and play and a stroller and a car seat and all of 10:38 10 minutes, 38 seconds that and then we connect them with services that are available we have safe housing if they need it you know to be so it's it's remarkable and and once 10:47 10 minutes, 47 seconds they get that support they're like oh I I can do this I don't have to kill my baby and like I say that we have one of 10:54 10 minutes, 54 seconds the highest rates in the nation for Save baby saves at 92% it's really incredible so so that work is phenomenal we saved 11:02 11 minutes, 2 seconds 141 babies last year double from the year before and that work is growing exponentially it it's really a fabulous 11:11 11 minutes, 11 seconds work and then two years ago a couple of friends and I started latterday Saints for life okay and this is a global 11:19 11 minutes, 19 seconds Organization for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints who believe in the sanctity of life and so 11:26 11 minutes, 26 seconds we've grown we're in over 50 states 11 countries already and so we do that effort as well and that one we primarily 11:35 11 minutes, 35 seconds promote the doctrine of life and we encourage our members to go to their local states and countries and support what's happening there yeah you know we 11:43 11 minutes, 43 seconds don't create new you know projects or anything we say no you go in and support your community so that's been really 11:50 11 minutes, 50 seconds incredible work as well I love that excuse me what that that 141 you said that you saved last year do do most of 11:58 11 minutes, 58 seconds those babies stay with the mom do they go to adoption what what what what I'm just kind of curious what happens to so that's kind of an interesting thing 12:05 12 minutes, 5 seconds everybody's like promote adoption which we love adoption and we have you know we have free adoption services we have all that however when a woman is considering 12:14 12 minutes, 14 seconds having an abortion the first thing you have to change is her heart so that she's willing to face the the problems 12:22 12 minutes, 22 seconds that she has and the scary stuff she's facing and choose life for her baby so we try to turn their hearts to their 12:30 12 minutes, 30 seconds baby so that they really love that baby so we typically don't even bring up adoption until later in the process when 12:38 12 minutes, 38 seconds they're past being abortion vulnerable okay and then we bring it up and say is this something you want to consider you 12:45 12 minutes, 45 seconds would be surprised though by then most of them are so in love with their babies they want to be a mama to that baby and 12:52 12 minutes, 52 seconds I the vast majority keep their babies and and choose to parent their babies and one of the things that people don't 13:00 13 minutes understand they they always kind of have this perception of the 16-year-old going into Planned Parenthood that is not the case our 13:08 13 minutes, 8 seconds average age is 24 interesting and I don't know how many probably a quarter to a third are married and have children 13:17 13 minutes, 17 seconds or or you know at least have had children before you'd be surprised you know it's like that fifth one and they're just at a Tipping Point or their 13:25 13 minutes, 25 seconds third or whatever so it isn't always the teenager you know that we're getting uh that is kind of the mentality you know mental image in my head I guess 13:33 13 minutes, 33 seconds right right right right and so very very few uh place them for adoption very few which makes it so hard on our families that want babies so desperately yeah 13:40 13 minutes, 40 seconds yeah that's tough yeah that yeah so yeah mixed bag there right on the one hand hey that's good that they're they're saving the baby but yes to your point 13:48 13 minutes, 48 seconds there are a lot of we get it and we get you know people asking us all the time if there's Babies available it's it's it's it's hard yeah it's hard but you 13:57 13 minutes, 57 seconds know we just work on saving that baby's life and supporting the mama so that they can feel strengthened you know and 14:05 14 minutes, 5 seconds empowered I mean they walk into plan Parenthood and all they offer them is kill your baby and a lifetime of regret and pain and sorrow they never talk 14:13 14 minutes, 13 seconds about and so we offer a whole wide you know range of support sure which is the way it needs to be done yeah you know because you're showing them hey there 14:21 14 minutes, 21 seconds are other options absolutely and and one looks easy at first but has to your point large consequences with with with 14:30 14 minutes, 30 seconds that whereas the other one maybe is harder up front but then has great reward I guess right and we have oh you know I can't tell you how many stories 14:38 14 minutes, 38 seconds of the women saying oh my gosh every time I look at my baby I just am so grateful sure you know that we made this 14:45 14 minutes, 45 seconds choice to keep them uh alive and oh yeah it's it's really marvelous work I mean like I said I've been involved in 14:53 14 minutes, 53 seconds politics and I've been involved in community work for a long time and this is by far the most most to me the most critical the most important and the most 15:02 15 minutes, 2 seconds rewarding it's amazing cuz you could yeah I can see that cuz you can trace to I mean you can see your impact indiv 15:09 15 minutes, 9 seconds very directly you have a direct impact in fact I do Grant requests and people are like now how do you measure your success and I said we'll provide you 15:16 15 minutes, 16 seconds pictures you like one step of they're alive you know there you go that's how we measure yeah so it's it's cool that makes sense not that the other stuff you 15:24 15 minutes, 24 seconds know obviously the fire you know and your time in California doing that that was impactful that was good and stuff like that but to your point oh yeah here's a picture of the person we saved 15:32 15 minutes, 32 seconds right I me that makes a lot of sense that's that's pretty amazing that is cool well good well you know if somebody wanted to get involved in that kind of Chapter 5: Getting Involved: How You Can Help 15:40 15 minutes, 40 seconds stuff are there what what would you advise you know oh it's easy just go to prolife utah.org if you want to do that the other one latterday Saints 15:48 15 minutes, 48 seconds forlife.org you know either one we've got Instagram Facebook groups all kinds of stuff and you know here's funny story 15:55 15 minutes, 55 seconds of how I started in this work I was in California I had four little boys I had my law practice going and I was probably 16:03 16 minutes, 3 seconds relas sighted present of the time usually I was so I walked into this business that was called something like pregnancy choices and I thought I thought it was an abortion front and I 16:12 16 minutes, 12 seconds went in with a high horse ready to just rip them a new one you know so I go into this place I'm like hm so can you tell me well come to find out it was a 16:19 16 minutes, 19 seconds Pregnancy Resource Center complete opposite that they work to to save babies and I was so touched and I said I want to help I want to get involved I 16:28 16 minutes, 28 seconds have zero zero time and I said I like to crochet would it be helpful to crochet you know and have baby blankets and they 16:35 16 minutes, 35 seconds said oh yeah so I started well over 30 years ago I still crochet blankets I still give them at the baby showers that's how I started so when people say 16:44 16 minutes, 44 seconds oh I want to do something but I don't want to stand on the curb okay sure there's lots of things that you can do lots and lots and lots of things even 16:52 16 minutes, 52 seconds just donating 20 bucks a month we give a gift card in that a gift bag that we hand to them when they're walking in for their abortion that could ser attention 16:59 16 minutes, 59 seconds so 20 bucks can save a life so there's all kinds of ways that people can get involved there's lots of good work to do 17:08 17 minutes, 8 seconds some of it right up front some of it behind the scenes because not everyone's you know want to stand on that curb so there's lots of great things to do 17:15 17 minutes, 15 seconds because obviously I mean that's a that's an area that attracts a lot of very strong opinions oh yes right and so yeah 17:24 17 minutes, 24 seconds some hey I contention I don't want to be in that not that that's not me like okay you know can you C your baby blankets I mean do you want to show up and attend a 17:32 17 minutes, 32 seconds baby shower we have people come so that we fill up the baby shower with people it's like can you attend a party once a month yeah I can do that you know so like I said there's there's lots of for 17:41 17 minutes, 41 seconds varant degrees of of you know engagement and stuff okay good very cool good good well I love what you're doing that's awesome let's shift gears a little bit Chapter 6: From Speaker to Author: Merrilee's Writing Journey 17:49 17 minutes, 49 seconds you know I first met you and I told you this in the beginning at at an education and I say I first met you you know you were on stage I was in the audience 17:56 17 minutes, 56 seconds right you know so but but you know with the different books you've written and stuff like that right tell you know what what was the first book that you wrote 18:04 18 minutes, 4 seconds and and what why did you why did you write a book well I actually I started speaking in law school okay people asked me to come and speak and so I started 18:13 18 minutes, 13 seconds speaking in law school and and then just kept going over the years and everybody kept bugging me you know have you put this in a book have you put this in a 18:20 18 minutes, 20 seconds book and so finally after years of of speaking I this is the funniest story I 18:28 18 minutes, 28 seconds had been approached by Covenant recording they wanted to record CDs back in the day right and do this and and so I looked at their stuff they had a 18:36 18 minutes, 36 seconds horrible contract I rewrote it four times and in the meantime I cold called deset book I mean I just called him out of the blue I left a message I said hey 18:45 18 minutes, 45 seconds merly boyak I'm speaking education week in other places you know I've got these books somebody call me of course nobody did you know a month later I call them again I got hey look you know you're 18:54 18 minutes, 54 seconds going to want to call me yeah so and Covenant was pressuring me you know sign sign sign and each time their contract got worse I said no so I finally called 19:02 19 minutes, 2 seconds Des book and I just I'm literally leaving this message on the general line saying you're going to want me and you 19:10 19 minutes, 10 seconds better call me and you have 24 hours and if if I don't hear from you in 24 hours I'm going to sign with Covenant and you're going to really regret that yeah 19:18 19 minutes, 18 seconds boom I get a call and this guy calls and he says who are you what's going on and I said well I'm speaking and by then you know my speaking was my numbers were 19:26 19 minutes, 26 seconds growing and I said you know I'm doing all this and he goes oh well okay what book ideas do you have and so I pitched four books which you just do not do I 19:35 19 minutes, 35 seconds didn't know what I was doing so I pitched all four books and they picked the parenting breakthrough as the first one okay and it ended up being the 19:42 19 minutes, 42 seconds number one best-selling parenting book ever for Des book and is still after that was 20 years ago holy cow and it's 19:52 19 minutes, 52 seconds still in print that would sound right cuz like I said that's actually the book I got to know you and I raised my kids you know my wife and I took a lot of the 20:00 20 minutes things from that right yeah and it's funny I just had clients the other day and they're like oh we were raised on this book it was really funny you know that it's been out 20:08 20 minutes, 8 seconds that long but it just you know it's training kids to be independent so it just really hit a cord yes I mean you know they hand you this baby you have no 20:15 20 minutes, 15 seconds idea what you're doing and so in there is that lovely training chart of all the life skills they need to learn broken down by each year so that they can be 20:23 20 minutes, 23 seconds you know very independent adults and so like I say it's still in print which is ridiculous I remember one of the stories was like you know a kid going to college 20:31 20 minutes, 31 seconds and not you know like oh hey he's going to learn how to you know cook yeah good luck on learning how to cook whatever and it's like well who would have taught 20:39 20 minutes, 39 seconds him that you know what I mean and I think so that that's that was I mean that probably that principle alone is is kind of you know what I think helped my 20:47 20 minutes, 47 seconds wife and I with our kids was just okay hey I would rather have them experience things in the home you know and whether that's with you know learning how to use a credit card or learning how to use you 20:56 20 minutes, 56 seconds know whatever it is right you know in the home because because the failure you know it it's not as hard to fail well sorry actually it is fail but the 21:04 21 minutes, 4 seconds consequences aren consequences aren't so dire you know what I mean and so it's just so much better to and that's your job as a parent is is cuz you want to I 21:14 21 minutes, 14 seconds know I see these posts going are we should have the schools teaching Financial lists and you know skills and I think no every time every Su I go no that's the job of the parents they need 21:22 21 minutes, 22 seconds to learn that in the home and and so it's interesting now having you know grandchildren who are being taught these principles and and the Next Generation 21:31 21 minutes, 31 seconds but you know it's training children to be independent is a very important part of parenting yeah and not everyone does 21:39 21 minutes, 39 seconds it you know so well and and I don't know we like I said we loved that book that was good and and and you know so you 21:49 21 minutes, 49 seconds just wrote that book just based off of your own experience how long did it take to write that you knowre two weeks two weeks okay cuz I've been doing it I mean I've been running the lab sure sure I'd 21:58 21 minutes, 58 seconds been lecturing on it so I just sat down with all my lectures okay and you know transcribed them all added a little extra that I wanted to and boom you know 22:07 22 minutes, 7 seconds okay so that's why it was a little easier CU you were already giving oh yeah I'd been teaching it for a long time so once I finally buckled down and did it you know it was rather quick then 22:15 22 minutes, 15 seconds I was invited from that to be on the timeout for women circuit which I did that for about nine years and then they wanted a book a year so I was started to 22:23 22 minutes, 23 seconds really crank them out you know and so what are some other ones that have been received second one I wrote was strangling your husband is not an option 22:32 22 minutes, 32 seconds yes that's a fun one and that's the number two bestselling marriage book they've ever had I mean it's it's done very well and is still in print what do 22:41 22 minutes, 41 seconds you subscribe what what you know subcribe what how why was that successful you think well this one is geared primarily towards wives and and 22:49 22 minutes, 49 seconds chapter four is instructive it says how do I change my husband right I mean that's what every woman's wanting to do and chapter five is no really how do I Chapter 7: How Do I Change My Husband? 22:57 22 minutes, 57 seconds change my husband you know I mean and so it addresses a lot of those issues of problem ownership and how we treat one another and how we take care of 23:05 23 minutes, 5 seconds ourselves and and so and it's funny you know and has a lot of you know everybody says how do you decide what to write and 23:13 23 minutes, 13 seconds I go well I mess up and then I learn and then I apply it and then I teach it you know and so that's it's just you know 23:21 23 minutes, 21 seconds that that process but that one seemed to resonate really well it's very practical and you know I really talk real yeah 23:30 23 minutes, 30 seconds really real I just lay it out you know and which is better I mean we like transparency like I think people resonate better and they don't feel 23:37 23 minutes, 37 seconds quite so guilty you know and and they're like okay we're just going to learn how to do a better way yeah well I think yeah and it helps to know oh yeah I I 23:46 23 minutes, 46 seconds felt those same things about my husband I wanted to you know and so so that so you're you're not I to put shooting is still on the table but they wouldn't let 23:53 23 minutes, 53 seconds me add that part got to keep it you know yeah well that's good that's good um anything else from do you get do you get 24:02 24 minutes, 2 seconds feedback you know story people you know telling you I would assume so I guess with some of all the time the one my the Chapter 8: Impactful Stories and Reader Feedback 24:09 24 minutes, 9 seconds one that probably meant the most I wrote in trying times just keep trying right when I was in the middle of breast cancer treatment and wrote it's it's a 24:18 24 minutes, 18 seconds lot about dealing with adversity you know I had a lot going on that year sure so anyway uh I got a email forwarded to 24:27 24 minutes, 27 seconds me that had been s to desire book and a woman had dropped off her children for the summer because she was divorced and she dropped them off the airplane to go 24:35 24 minutes, 35 seconds see Daddy for the summer yeah and she said I had decided to kill myself CU it was too much and she said I was driving away and I thought well I'll stop at the 24:43 24 minutes, 43 seconds mall and and she's wandering through the mall wanders into the bookstore and sees my book in trying times just keep trying 24:50 24 minutes, 50 seconds it shows a woman you know pushing a giant boulder and she said I decided I would read that book and then I would kill myself and so she read that book 24:59 24 minutes, 59 seconds and it saved her life she realized she could handle all the the trials and the pain and the adversity that she was going through and it gave her hoping oh 25:07 25 minutes, 7 seconds my gosh you know I mean I've written a ton of books but that one that story just you know you have no idea and I 25:15 25 minutes, 15 seconds think that's true for everybody we have no idea how many people we influence yeah uh we just we just don't even know you know and that's why I love doing 25:23 25 minutes, 23 seconds good Community work and doing you know just spreading goodness out there because you just never know yeah who you're going to influence and say I've 25:30 25 minutes, 30 seconds been influenced you know I've had my life Changed by people that have just said things I attended an education week lecture when I started BYU M I didn't 25:39 25 minutes, 39 seconds know it was education week I grew up in Detroit we didn't have it and I snuck in the corner Don black was teaching and he taught the act as if 25:47 25 minutes, 47 seconds principle and I was desperately homesick a weeping mess and I walked out of there in 10 minutes a changed woman and in 25:55 25 minutes, 55 seconds fact I just hunted him down a few years ago he's in his 90s and to say thank you and that changed my life 10 minutes changed my life yeah it 26:04 26 minutes, 4 seconds has literally impacted my life for you know 50 years and I think that that that the influence that we have on others is 26:12 26 minutes, 12 seconds such a privilege such a privilege it's really cool I guess you know somebody might be a little intimidated by I mean 26:20 26 minutes, 20 seconds you have quite the resume right you've done you've done quite a few things and stuff like that so anything to avoid cooking there you go luckily my husband took it over seven years I finally have 26:28 26 minutes, 28 seconds a perfect marriage he's amazing he cooks he's amazing and I have hated it for years so yeah there's a I avoid cooking 26:36 26 minutes, 36 seconds excuse me so you know what what advice would you have for somebody that that you know you know as you said doesn't like sitting on the street corner you 26:44 26 minutes, 44 seconds know doesn't have your personality where they're they're like to do all these things you know but but obviously recognizes the truth that you just said 26:52 26 minutes, 52 seconds which is we all have an influence on people you know what advice do you have for that person that wants to even just do do one of the things that you've done Chapter 9: Follow Your Heart and Strengths 26:59 26 minutes, 59 seconds you know and I say follow your heart now I have a sister and and we have a lot of similarities we're both kind of really 27:08 27 minutes, 8 seconds strong outspoken women sure her heart calls her to help people one at a time that's her thing I'm organizing 27:16 27 minutes, 16 seconds thousands of people that's my bag but hers is one at time so like right now she has a Haitian Refugee and a little with her little 2-year-old living with 27:23 27 minutes, 23 seconds her and she's helping to care for her and so that's the way she rolls she feels called to that that's what she 27:30 27 minutes, 30 seconds does she does it very well and so she we call them her L lost puppies she'll help a person get it together then she'll go 27:38 27 minutes, 38 seconds to another and that's that's what her heart calls her to do why would I say oh my way so much better Heavens know I I 27:46 27 minutes, 46 seconds look at her and I think ah maybe her way is and I think no you you need to you need to follow your heart what calls to 27:54 27 minutes, 54 seconds you and that has changed for me over the years you know and so I get it when people pivot you know and do I used to 28:01 28 minutes, 1 second be with family watch International doing you know Global things now I feel very called to work within Utah and to work 28:09 28 minutes, 9 seconds on this issue so that will change over time but I think you follow your strengths and your abilities and you 28:15 28 minutes, 15 seconds know don't do what I do you do what you do yeah and and don't feel guilty that you're not doing what I'm doing and I 28:23 28 minutes, 23 seconds don't try not to feel guilty of doing what you know my sister's doing I I think we just need to to follow that that little inner voice that is kind of 28:31 28 minutes, 31 seconds guiding us along sure but I think it is important to have a willing heart so many people are so unwilling to extend themselves 28:41 28 minutes, 41 seconds you know I I quote the scripture where the Savior says you're the salt of the earth and I say he didn't say that he was you're the salt of the family or 28:49 28 minutes, 49 seconds even your church sure he said you're the salt of the earth and so I do try to nudge people a little bit to get out and 28:55 28 minutes, 55 seconds share their good influence Beyond just their tight little Inner Circle you know I think that way we have really 29:02 29 minutes, 2 seconds magnifier influence a lot do you think do you think that comes from a confidence issue sometimes where people are like hey but I'm just I'm Just a Nobody I'm you know I'm not that 29:10 29 minutes, 10 seconds important I mean you know so what what you know like I I'm comfortable in my family doing that and stuff like that 29:18 29 minutes, 18 seconds you know but it starts in your in your head in your heart I did a presentation on prif work and this little old lady comes up to me and she says I like to 29:25 29 minutes, 25 seconds make quilts and I said go for it and you you know within weeks brought by beautiful quilts okay and so I think part of it is an awareness being willing 29:33 29 minutes, 33 seconds to open your eyes to see what's the what the needs are all around you and part of it is just a willing heart to say n I'm 29:41 29 minutes, 41 seconds going to try it can be you know on your walk you know once a week take a big giant garbage bag with you sure my dad 29:50 29 minutes, 50 seconds taught us over and over you know make the world a better place than you found it that can be done in really tiny easy ways if we think about about it and then 29:58 29 minutes, 58 seconds have a willing heart yeah no I love that I love that let me make sure I'm getting everything that I so you mentioned 30:06 30 minutes, 6 seconds education week and stuff like that you know what themes do you typically focus on there do you do you 30:13 30 minutes, 13 seconds do you actually I just retired you did yes when was the last year yeah I I've 30:19 30 minutes, 19 seconds taught for 28 years okay so I just just finally just barely just retired from education week and was that a hard 30:27 30 minutes, 27 seconds decision yes and no yeah I mean 20 that's a long time actually long time yeah a long you put a lot out there so that's yeah yeah yeah and there were 30:35 30 minutes, 35 seconds other factors at play but uh it was time you know I'm like okay but yeah I've done it for a long time I do love 30:42 30 minutes, 42 seconds speaking you know I'm super weird other people it's their most frightening thing and you put me in front of a few thousand people and I'm a Happy Clam 30:49 30 minutes, 49 seconds yeah you know it's just it's just my thing I love love love speaking how did you how did you decide what to speak about during those things I mean you I 30:58 30 minutes, 58 seconds started you know when I was in law school they asked me to speak and it was to a a young adult group and I spoke on overcoming fear fear had been a big part 31:07 31 minutes, 7 seconds of my life I've had a number of surgeries and you know long story and so fear had been a big thing so that was my 31:13 31 minutes, 13 seconds first one yeah and I it went great you know well and I thought oh okay and so like I say I look at the life lessons 31:20 31 minutes, 20 seconds that I'm learning and and teach them last year at education week I taught president Nelson's call to women 31:28 31 minutes, 28 seconds and I talked about the strength of women and and the change that they can make in the world and his call you know to us to 31:35 31 minutes, 35 seconds kind of rise up and do you know great things and so I just kind of look around you know what pequs my interest I also look at what I'm struggling with sure 31:44 31 minutes, 44 seconds you know I think okay you know I I need to work on this area or I would like to learn more in this area and I delve into it and I work on it and then like I say 31:52 31 minutes, 52 seconds after a few years I go okay now I'm ready to teach and and when I speak and teach share very raw real examples I'm 32:00 32 minutes not one to act like woohoo yeah look at me I'm like oh no I spill the guts and and just say you know I've had struggles 32:07 32 minutes, 7 seconds with this and this and this and because we all do yeah we all do which I think you know is something important for 32:14 32 minutes, 14 seconds everybody most of our problems are not unique right and and so I I like kind of what I heard you said there which is a 32:21 32 minutes, 21 seconds lot of you you struggle with something you you kind of figure it out and then you go and teach that thing and so I I I love that I mean I and then I go relearn 32:29 32 minutes, 29 seconds and sure and I'm sure after that teaching you realize oh I don't know as much as I thought I did right okay all the time but that humility and that it's 32:38 32 minutes, 38 seconds a it's a balance between humility and also like a love for people and wanting to you know help people I guess I mean I me that's the parenting breakthrough I 32:45 32 minutes, 45 seconds mean again nothing I mean it's funny when you read a book sometimes you're like well that's kind of a duh thing I mean I remember my grandpa talking about Steven ary's book right and it was like 32:54 32 minutes, 54 seconds well I could have written that I mean it's pretty basic you know and it's like I mean yes and no right how know his books got really great that's why he was taken to Heaven early because they were 33:02 33 minutes, 2 seconds amazing they were just I guess my point is that sometimes when something is so obvious that's actually probably speaks 33:09 33 minutes, 9 seconds to its truthfulness I guess cuz it's like oh yeah that's yeah of course that's that's true and I think that's what that parenting breakthrough book 33:18 33 minutes, 18 seconds yeah and sometimes I think you know I mean I I have this ability to explain things you know that seems to resonate with people and and you're right you say 33:26 33 minutes, 26 seconds it and they kind of go oh yeah you know and they said I just couldn't explain it that way or understand it thoroughly that way and and yeah that's been kind 33:34 33 minutes, 34 seconds of fun yeah but again it helps people and I think you know obviously it's your heart that's saying hey I want to I want to help how do I help and you're getting 33:41 33 minutes, 41 seconds out there and you're not scared to do it my guess is you know sometimes I'm scared but I just do it anyway in fact 33:49 33 minutes, 49 seconds one time I was telling a group of young people about community service and I was talking about all the zillions of you 33:56 33 minutes, 56 seconds know experiences and I'll never forget this girl little girl in the back raised her hand and she said how did you know you could do all those things yeah and 34:03 34 minutes, 3 seconds it caught me off guard I went I said oh I didn't I said I just start yeah I said just start and then I learn and I figure 34:11 34 minutes, 11 seconds it out I make mistakes and I said I'm just willing to start a lot of people are so afraid they don't even take that first step and and I said I didn't know 34:20 34 minutes, 20 seconds how to do any of this and it's funny I've never had a mentor I've never had someone that was like a Trailblazer and said oh yeah 34:28 34 minutes, 28 seconds I mean like when I wrote books i' never met anybody that had written a book you know when I was lecturing I'd never met anybody that did that you know so I I've 34:36 34 minutes, 36 seconds never had that my experience has just been kind of taking the first step give it a shot learn and and not being afraid to fail I guess right I mean you know 34:44 34 minutes, 44 seconds what I'm good at failure I embrace it it's the best way to learn well it is the best way to learn right yeah and and 34:50 34 minutes, 50 seconds I think you know so so this generation I think the the younger generation I guess you know I think one of the things 34:58 34 minutes, 58 seconds that's hard for them is to try and and because maybe it's the wealth of information that they have because 35:05 35 minutes, 5 seconds they've seen so many failures right and failure hurts a lot of times and so I I think you 35:12 35 minutes, 12 seconds know they also see a lot of pretty sure yes you know they're looking at social media and they're seeing this and they have no idea you know what that person 35:21 35 minutes, 21 seconds looked like before the makeup and before the this and the that and and it creates a false expectation that your life is just going to be so perfect and pretty 35:29 35 minutes, 29 seconds and everything's going to go great and yeah no life is real no life is real and life is hard and there's a lot of ups 35:37 35 minutes, 37 seconds and downs and you have people that you know like that lady that you're talking about that wrote you and stuff I mean you know life is hard at times but but 35:46 35 minutes, 46 seconds what I'm hearing is hey keep pressing forward keep doing things keep trying things you know and and that's how you get good at stuff that's how you 35:54 35 minutes, 54 seconds overcome challenges and but again it's hard I think people get scared of failure and and they see failure all the time right well and part of it is that's 36:03 36 minutes, 3 seconds very self-oriented I remember one time I was sitting in the dong I was about to teach at education we I was sitting on the 36:11 36 minutes, 11 seconds piano and I said a little prayer and I was a little nervous because that's a very big Auditorium yeah it is and I said a little prayer you know help me to 36:19 36 minutes, 19 seconds you know do a good job and boy the good Lord whooped me up theide the head and said oh this isn't about you it's about 36:26 36 minutes, 26 seconds them that lesson has stuck with me the rest of my life where I realized the only reason we're worried about failure is cuz we're worried about what other people think about us okay 36:35 36 minutes, 35 seconds but if we're not worried about what if it's not about us but learning the work and learning the process and everything 36:41 36 minutes, 41 seconds that sting goes away like okay you know I failed like I talk about the struggles we've had with you know one or two of 36:49 36 minutes, 49 seconds our children everybody's like I can't believe you're talking about that I said why wouldn't I everybody's dealing with this I said God lost a third and you 36:57 36 minutes, 57 seconds know hell he's not exempt so I think getting past that self worry yeah yeah 37:04 37 minutes, 4 seconds helped a lot sure yeah and taking the focus off yourself like you said right I still don't feel good I get it I get it I get it but you know if it's not about 37:13 37 minutes, 13 seconds you then the sting is way less yeah oh I love that yeah lose yourself in the work I guess right you know not focus on 37:21 37 minutes, 21 seconds yourself so much and then you'll be you know in a better spot there so no I love that anything we haven't hit that you want wanted to hit well in talking about 37:30 37 minutes, 30 seconds Lehi let's talk about Lehi specific Lehi has some wonderful things going for it some great people live here I love the 37:38 37 minutes, 38 seconds mixture of the people that live here of old and young and you know professional 37:45 37 minutes, 45 seconds and worker and just you know we have a lovely lovely blend of people what I Chapter 10: The Importance of Community Involvement 37:52 37 minutes, 52 seconds would love to see more of is the residents of Lee High stepping forward and investing themselves in the community I can't tell you how many 38:00 38 minutes people come to me and they say oh I want to run for city council I say great what have you done nothing I'm like then don't run yeah don't run until you've 38:07 38 minutes, 7 seconds proven and shown your investment in the community and so I would just encourage everybody to look around like I say take your family go clean a park go show up 38:15 38 minutes, 15 seconds at a community event early and say here I'm I'm here to help set up chairs I mean there's all kinds of things we can do in our own Community keeping track of 38:24 38 minutes, 24 seconds our neighbors see what needs are there you know getting outly link and responding to you know the needs I I think all of us and there's tens of 38:33 38 minutes, 33 seconds thousands of us now doing a little bit can really make this community even more wonderful than it already is and so I 38:41 38 minutes, 41 seconds would say step out that front door step out that front door go do whatever you're interested in whatever your heart calls you to do you know you have Steve 38:50 38 minutes, 50 seconds on we're big into preparedness that's kind of our bag so that's kind of the the attack that we've taken but you know go help with the little league go show 38:59 38 minutes, 59 seconds up at school you know take them go hand 20 bucks to a teacher I mean there's all kinds of little things that we can do to 39:06 39 minutes, 6 seconds really make this community just wonderful and full of love and caring and that just ripples yeah that just 39:15 39 minutes, 15 seconds Ripples and so you know you may do one kind thing for somebody and they do for five more people and that that Ripple of kind of love and caring and 39:23 39 minutes, 23 seconds neighborliness can really grow so that Lehi has know known for that I would love Lei to be known for that that it's 39:31 39 minutes, 31 seconds known as a community that really cares about people and that it just shows up everywhere in the way we behave in stores and the way we drive and the way 39:39 39 minutes, 39 seconds we interact with our neighbors in showing up and getting involved in our government all over the place and I think that we could really be a stellar 39:48 39 minutes, 48 seconds community of of love and compassion for everybody I love that yeah no you're right it uh and I think sometimes we maybe hey well I'm already serving you 39:56 39 minutes, 56 seconds know my family or I'm Ser serving in my church you know I'm I'm already busy with these things so to take on community things well I'm already you 40:04 40 minutes, 4 seconds know and and and that's probably true they are doing service in other are it could be this big yes it could be every time I go to Walmart I'm going to call the greeter by name that's my big thing 40:13 40 minutes, 13 seconds for the year okay what if we all did that I mean you know what are we up to 60,000 people if 60,000 people gave away 40:22 40 minutes, 22 seconds one Split Second a day of good that's a lot yeah that's a lot that changes the community yeah it adds up right yeah MH yeah no I love that anything you know 40:29 40 minutes, 29 seconds you want to see in Lehigh you know as a as a I mean obviously you just mentioned that I guess with helping the community and stuff but any other things that you 40:37 40 minutes, 37 seconds know I wish Lehi had this or I wish we were doing that any any you know just talk I really wanted Jack in the Box but that's okay that' be really nice that 40:44 40 minutes, 44 seconds would be nice I do like Jack in the Box but but I I mean I mean you know I think of two things just because of my background sure I would like to see more 40:53 40 minutes, 53 seconds citizen committee involvement in the in the city and in the city governance I think that that improves the city and 41:00 41 minutes I would love to see that and the second thing is I really would like to see a greater commitment to preparedness 41:07 41 minutes, 7 seconds having lived through two wildfires earthquakes you know power outages long-term power outages having lived 41:14 41 minutes, 14 seconds through all of this stuff yeah I just have to tell you we are woefully underprepared of this community and that scares me to death because I've lived 41:23 41 minutes, 23 seconds through it and I know what what will happen and that that goes down to indiv ual being prepared but also comes to an 41:30 41 minutes, 30 seconds emphasis you know from our city council and our city staff that I see some 41:36 41 minutes, 36 seconds glimmers of that but in from experience not nearly enough sure you 41:44 41 minutes, 44 seconds know and and so one major earthquake or whatever is really really going to have a negative impact on our community so 41:53 41 minutes, 53 seconds that's like I say that's just important we've lived through it we've experienced it that's important important to me sure I think that as a former government 42:00 42 minutes person I think that needs to be a higher priority I love that what's one of your favorite things about living here in Lehi now now that you've been here nine Chapter 11: Reflections on Living in Lehi 42:08 42 minutes, 8 seconds you said nine years almost 12 almost 12 years sorry okay what do I love about Lehi oh go everything I I love this 42:15 42 minutes, 15 seconds community I I love the responsiveness of our government I love the the things 42:22 42 minutes, 22 seconds that one time we sat down and counted up we had 110 restaurants within a for minute drive I mean that's just insane yes so you know there's a lot of 42:30 42 minutes, 30 seconds services that are available to us I but I think the thing that it's going to sound really cheesy but moving from 42:38 42 minutes, 38 seconds California to here the thing that has just blown me away is how the nice the people are I mean in California your Nextdoor neighbors didn't even wave and 42:46 42 minutes, 46 seconds say hello you just didn't it was a very isolated living environment for and I mean we Liv there 24 years you know so it was like yeah but it was just the 42:54 42 minutes, 54 seconds vibe you know the culture it's amazing the nicest people the nicest people here yeah no it's been really remarkable in 43:03 43 minutes, 3 seconds fact our neighbor they moved from California the little gr said the people here are so weird and the mom said oh dear why she goes they all wave and say 43:10 43 minutes, 10 seconds hello and we're like yeah that's how normal people act so the the goodness of the people here yeah has been surprising 43:18 43 minutes, 18 seconds yeah and wonderful that's awesome yeah I know we've loved this place yeah it it's become I mean we've raised our kids here we're still raising our kids here yeah 43:26 43 minutes, 26 seconds you are so you know it's been a good Community for us so marily Lee thanks for coming on thanks for talking with me and I think we've hit everything I you Chapter 12: Conclusion and Final Thoughts 43:35 43 minutes, 35 seconds know anything sounds great you know but thanks for coming on I I I love what you're doing and I think it's inspiring and and hopefully inspires all of us to 43:44 43 minutes, 44 seconds do a little bit more and whether that's you know a lot more a little more I mean you just get started right I think that's the that's the theme of this is 43:51 43 minutes, 51 seconds hey just get started and and then you know as time passes you look back and it's like oh wait I've done more than I I would oh yeah start out crocheting 43:59 43 minutes, 59 seconds Afghans and end up doing all kinds of stuff there you go that's exactly it but it just it's just taking that line upon line right you know getting started and 44:06 44 minutes, 6 seconds stuff so love that love what you're doing yeah no thank youate you bet great to be here yeah thanks thank you thank you for joining us on roots and branches 44:15 44 minutes, 15 seconds of Lehi I hope today's story helped you feel a little more connected to the people who make up our community remember every person here has a unique 44:22 44 minutes, 22 seconds story and together we're what makes Lehi feel like home if you know know someone who would be a great fit for this podcast please fill out the form in the 44:30 44 minutes, 30 seconds show notes so we can reach out and schedule an interview we'd love to hear from you a big thank you to our sponsors the work Harding Home Mortgage team and 44:38 44 minutes, 38 seconds play Harding nightly vacation rentals for supporting this show and helping us bring our community closer together until next time keep growing those roots 44:46 44 minutes, 46 seconds and reaching out to your branches take care 44:50 44 minutes, 50 seconds [Music] Sync to video time
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